TiAmAt: share, Fear struck in again, Marilyn Monroe, Aniela Michaela

* * *

Fear struck in again

Published March 25, 2017 | By Aniela Michaela

I have been lately working on to release old fears.

I have released pretty much all fears caused from my previous relationships from this life, specially those caused by my abusive ex.

So now I have moved on to the latest past lived when I was known as Marilyn Monroe, or, Norma Jean Mortenson.

In that life with Joe, was very abusive.

And his abuse caused some serious fear.

It got so bad that I was no longer capable to say no, due to fear of getting beaten up senseless.

After the divorce of Joe, the fear was so deeply imprinted that I was scared to say no to men.

This was the reason why I let them get what they wanted and this made me have sex against my will, simply because I was literally terrified of getting beaten the crap out if I did not obey them and do as they told.

So people should know, that media has made me look like a light footed sex object that loved to sex around.

But that is not the truth.

Only an abused woman living in many years of fear of getting beaten up, and learned to obey due to pure fear of getting beaten up senseless will know what I am talking about!

Fear tends to make you do crazy things.

I was also good to put on a mask so people did not see how terrible i really felt inside, because that would have looked like a weakness in the business I was in.
Well 2 nights ago, astral i met Joe, by pure accident.

Old memories from the marriage with him rose to surface and I got scared!

He demanded me to have sex with him and he raped me.

My body felt like a dead corps, tears fell from my chin, my thought went to Lucien.

I hated the fact that I was so scared of Joe that I was not able to say no, due to fear of getting beaten up.

I cried because I felt so weak, so filthy, about what happen.

How would Lucien take this?

how would he react?

would he ever forgive me for not standing up for myself, but letting the fear take hold on me and let this rape happen.

I felt broken inside.

I felt literally disgusted.

When Joe was done he commanded me that I had to get married to him again.

By now, I was so darn tired of letting the fear control me, that the warrior within kicked in and with pure willpower I confronted Joe, shouting at him

“I will never marry you!

You are a scum, a piece of scum who treats women like garbage!

I have had it with you and your shit!

I will no longer obey you and you will no longer bee able to control me or rule over my life.

My hearts belongs to someone else and I have had it with scum like you!”

Joe did not expect that coming and he was stunned.

In a ridiculous attempt he tried to scare me with saying “Pity then, cause now you will have to live with HIV!”

I looked at him and thought he was a complete pathetic fool!

I said “You are a fool Joe, your fear mongering tricks do not work on me anymore”

I then left to go back to my body that was a sleep.

When I woke up that morning I felt absolutely terrible, I was wondering if I should tell Lucien about it, how would he react?

Or if i should tell my sons about it or my father.

I did tell Lucien about what happened.

He said he did not blame me and that he understood what I went trough, but he was not pleased about that I was raped, he got very irritated and said that Joe would need to bee thought a serious lesson.

I cried, because i felt so awful of what happened, even if I knew that Lucien, knew that I would never cheat on him, it is not in my blood or DNA to do so, that it was against my will, i begged Lucien to not let this event get to him, because that is exactly what this ratbags wants, and that I wanted him more than ever, wanted to sit on his lap, in his loving arms.

But that was easier said than done.

He was to annoyed over Joe that he decided to track him down.

My sons Lucio and Luciano said today when telling them what happened, they said “Well that explains why dad looked so annoyed and furious last night!

He did not say anything why he was so annoyed, only that we should keep a close eye on mom” And then he left with pure annoyance….
Today when i talked with Lucien i said ” I told you I needed you more than ever.

But you rather went to hunt Joe down, even if i told you not to” Lucien said “I am sorry if i seem to have been a bit selfish, but I so badly wanted to find that Jerk, and teach him a serious lesson, for raping my queen, that i just did not care!

All I could think of was to hunt him down and give him a serious lesson.

I am sorry love.

Is there something i dislike to the core of my bones, soul and spirit, is when men abuses and rapes women, and when they treat my woman with disrespect and rapes her, that is to cross a serious line and I will not take that lightly, then they will have to face me and that will get ugly.

Lucky for that scum, I did not find him.

But I have asked my men look for that creep, and when they do find him, he will get in trouble, because then he will have to face me!

And that will not get pretty for him, mark my words”
I did not tell about the incident to my son Lucan or Lazarus, I wanted to spear them from it.

It would only have made them furious.

Lucan has also had a lot on his plate lately, so I did not want to put any more on his plate.

And I did not want to tell Lazarus either, I just did not want to burden him with this.

This two boys are mommy’s lil boys and they have zero tolerance about this sort of things happening to me.

And god only knows how Lazarus would have reacted to this, if he would have snapped.

So that is why I decided not to tell Lucan and Lazarus about it. Lazarus, eyes turns red like lava as soon as someone is insulting me, so there fore my choice not to tell my sons Lucan and Lazarus about this…
It truly would bee nice to bee with Lucien to night astral. But he has had lots of work to tend to lately…

Welcome to Aniela Michaela's sanctuary.

Here you can read about her astral journeys, past lives, visions and spiritual teachings, as well as learn to know Aniela Michaela herself! You can also check out her available and coming books.

Links